What it's like to be Business Partners with my Husband
My husband and I co-lead a philanthropy consultancy, where we advise nonprofits and families on impactful philanthropy throughout the country. We both love what we do (we actually met doing this work for an institution before we went out on our own), and we genuinely enjoy that we get to do it together. People ask us all of the time what it's like to work together, and for us, it's all we've ever known, but I know it's fascinating to consider how it works, and what it's like when it doesn't work.
It's hard to always feel equal with partners. There are days when one person does more or has more profound or lucrative ideas. I've let my imposter syndrome get the best of me many of times when it just feels like my husband is hitting his professional stride and I'm not. I've definitely had moments of wondering: am I reaping the financial and recognition benefits of his hard work? I felt like my growth was stunted when I had kids, and he didn't experience that same challenge. He did experience, though, his partner being taken out and he picked up a lot more traditional work while I picked up a lot more home-based work during those periods of time. [Side note: my next post will be about a book that changed my life in regards this!]
My competitive nature and drive to always do the most and be the best has sometimes gotten in the way of me accepting our different seasons of personal and professional journeys. Another post for another day can dive deeper into the differences we experience first-hand that men and women have working, but when it's your husband, it's hard not to get vocally emotional about feeling "behind," even if you're accomplishing a lot in so many different parts of your life. Being now on the other side of that pregnancy-baby-toddler hump, I admire how my husband adjusts to hoist me up and support my passion projects and me in a leadership role.
The greatest challenge is being able to draw a line between work and home. We built our business from nothing; it's like another kid to us in that way. When we're eating dinner and have an idea or something we wanted to mention about work, we tend to just say it, even if we're with our kids or we're out to dinner the two of us. When work has been stressful, that's been unfortunately obvious in our household because we're both feeling it. When work has been great, it's been a heck of a lot easier to leave it in the daytime. And on the contrary, when I've been mad at my husband for not getting up with our sick child all night like I have, I've thrown some shade in the home office but pretend-smiled through our shared Zooms. Who hasn't?!
I know it's not for everyone, but I am truly grateful that my husband wants to be around me this much, can inspire me to do more, and can pick up my slack when I'm a bit out of sync. I have to remind myself often not to be harsh or unfair with my words because it's my forgiving husband on the other side of my work communication, and the same goes for him. If you have your person at home, or at work, or like me, in both spots, I'll offer the same advice that I've received over the years: lead with gratitude, demand respect + show it, and always prioritize consistent, honest communication. Lastly, make sure at least one person is funny and sends good Instagram memes throughout the work day.